Husbands Becoming Better lovers!

The struggle for couples to find their sexual stride and work cooperatively to achieve sexual fulfillment can be challenging.  Sexual compatibility is made more difficult when

What You Thinkin’?: Focusing During Lovemaking

‘Did I turn the heater down?’, “I hope I have enough bread for the kids’ lunches tomorrow.’, ‘You know, if I leave right after the kids go to school, I can probably stop by my friend’s house for a while after I’m done at the church.’….

These are the kind of random thoughts that can float through my head if I’m not consciously attending to the moment during times of intimacy.  It has less to do with hubby’s performance than the inclination of the human mind to continually process and assess.

It took a few years before I figured out how to conquer the random thinking.  I’ll just tell you a couple of ways I do it (that I believe are healthy), then I hope you can share yours.

1. I talk.  Talking to my husband during sex and listening to him talk to me help keeps me ‘dialed in’ during THE DO.  It’s not always provocative talk.  It’s humor, playful taunting, occasional ‘I love you’, and compliments.

2. I focus on the environmental things that increase my arousal.  I like the sound of heavy breathing, moaning, slurping, sucking, etc.  I’m turned on by the smell of semen and the general smell of sex mixed with the aroma of scented candles.  These environmental elements are a great focus to stay ‘in the mood’.

3. I focus on what I am doing to bring him pleasure.  If we are into intercourse in the missionary position, though it is his power position, I can move my hips forward and backward as a counter move to his own.  I can tighten my pelvic muscles as when doing Kegels to increase his enjoyment.  I can simply describe what he is doing into his ear.  Just the act of doing that can be more arousing to him…and me.  Sometimes, a sensuous kiss gets the mind back on track.

We are both great lovers.  However, we both can fall victim to rogue thoughts.  Do you lose your focus sometimes during intimate moments?  How do you successfully get it back on track?

Tips for Time Challenged Lovers

First comes love…then comes marriage…then comes the baby(ies) in the baby carriage(s).  And shortly afterward, the robust romantic life breaks down into a forced 10 minute interlude 2.1 times per week for the next couple of decades.  Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!   Time’s just not on our side.

Oral Sex: Creating The Best Experience for Your Spouse

The act of oral sex has many idiomatic references in our English language.  Giving head, going down, eating out, and blow job are but a few.  Whatever your reference of choice, for those married couples who use it as a feature of sexual play, it can be a powerfully intimate experience OR an incredible let down!

The Most Intimate Song

The restraint of sexual passion IS NOT Christian.  The fullest human expression of it is!  If this statement makes you nervous, get help immediately…from the Bible!

When Masturbation Is Mastering You!

Compulsive masturbation.   While we are led to believe it typically happens among men (particularly younger men), it can and does occur among women also.   The compulsion is clear by observing certain behaviors in yourself or spouse:

When Love Is Not Enough…

The song says “all you need is love.”  Well, love is essential to a strong healthyspouse marriage.  But is it really enough?

Bedtime Routines

In support of your resolution to improve or enhance your love life this year, we will make recommendations for simple changes in practice or behavior that may increase your opportunities for success.

Consistent with our commitment, we would like to call your attention to your bedtime routine.  Most often, spouses are making love in the evening before bed.  The reasons for doing so are

Do You Know His Erogenous Zones?

Wives, do you know what areas of your dear husband’s body are most sensitive to touch?  Where, besides his penis, is he responsive to heightened arousal?

Ten Things To Know About Behaviors in Marriage

A few years ago, we came across these ten things to know about our behaviors in marriage.  We’ve found them to be fairly foundational.  We believe you will also.