Sex: A Love Offering

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. I Corinthians 7:3 (King James Version of the Holy Bible)

Sex.

You do know that Apostle Paul is talking about sex in I Corinthians 7:3, don’t you?  He is making the point that a part of the promise of marriage is that we have access to one another’s body for sexual gratification.  And the Greek term interpreted in KJV as benevolence actually means good will.  It is interpreted as such in Ephesians.

With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men… Ephesians 6:7 (King James Version of the Holy Bible)

Good will.  Enthusiasm.  Cheerful willingness.

We owe (due) one another good will (benevolence).  Good will is a cheerful willing attitude which results in grace.  In other words, sex doesn’t function well as some chorish labor that is rendered solely out of obligation.  It is the act of eating wherein the need to do it is matched by an equally strong appetite to do it and to do it well.

And while we don’t always want to eat, we sometimes do it anyway…because it is the healthy thing to do.  And when we lose our appetite for too long a period, we seek help because we know something is not right.  So it must be regarding the state of our sexual appetite when we are married.  No one should suffer malnutrition!

Don’t just give your spouse sex.  Be willing, enthusiastic and filled with good will.  Give your spouse a love offering.

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About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

3 Responses to Sex: A Love Offering

  1. Meghan says:

    What if other needs are not being met in the relationship? Our marriage has been rocky for awhile. I just gave in to his sexual needs and now he thinks everything is okay. I am not okay – I feel like I have been stolen from and starving…

  2. thepurebed says:

    Meghan,

    He doesn’t think everything is okay because you have become more giving sexually. Either you have stopped discussing the issues you believe exist in your marriage OR he has stopped listening.

    Either way, sometimes we have to escalate our issues by seeking the counsel of a qualified 3rd party (marriage counselor, qualified pastor, therapist) who can help us crystallize the issues in our relationship.

    Sometimes the very mention of seeking such counsel compels a spouse to take the issues more seriously–not because you use it as a threat but because it spotlights that you are clearly concerned about the health of the marriage.

  3. Being a love offering is an amazing gift each of us can do for our spouse. What I have learned over 16 years of marriage is that what happens well before you are between the sheets makes a ton of difference. It might be talking about your sexual desires without having sex that night. It may be trying something new for you, for them, for both of you to expand your knowledge of what likes and dislikes each of you have.

    Becoming a love offering takes time as both of you learn what turns both of you on. I will say that the sex life I have today is the best it has ever been and that is because my wife and I are talking about it more.

    Take time this week to ask sexual questions of each other so that you can grow closer together. Check out our 19 Questions to Amazing Sex, http://www.oneextraordinarymarriage.com/19-questions-to-amazing-sex-with-your-spouse.

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