Married Sex: Sexual Inhibitions Part II

 

This is the second of a three part series.  We’d like to share some strategies for dealing with sexually inhibited, introverted or repressed spouses.  And we do

 

To reiterate, the reasons are numerous as to why some spouses are intensely reluctant to openly share their sexual thoughts and desires…or to respond to yours! Our upbringing, cultural influences, faith convictions and past interpersonal relationships are but a few of the contributors to our sexual personalities.  However, if you are at an end of your rope as to how to get your inhibited spouse to ‘open up’, we provide some very general approaches to drawing them out and for kindling sexual exploration and adventure in your marriage.

 

Sexual intimacy requires mutual trust and a sense of relational security.  What this means to you is that your spouse (and you) needs to have a fundamental belief that you have their best interest at heart, think highly of them and that they can express things with you and to you as with no other.  Along those lines, getting past their barriers may require focused effort on your part.  We’ll share the second of three approaches or strategies for your consideration.  The second:

 

Try making gentle introductions into your sex life, proactively.  An example for husbands would be buying a piece of lingerie for your wife.  Buy it in her favorite color.  Be sensitive about any image issues she might have.  Ask questions and do research about the best lingerie type for your wife’s body type.  Wrap it up and give it to her at an appropriate time.  Attach a note that speaks genuinely of your love, affection and attraction for her.  In that note, ask her to wear it on a night of her choosing during that week or the next. 

 

Continually communicate how much you desire her and love being with her, intimately.  Do it during times when no sexual activity is being observed or expected between you.  Send her text messages.  Leave her notes.  Call her and tell her such during a lunch break.  For wives, take a similar approach…perhaps purchasing a pair of sheer underwear for him. 

 

The key is to know your spouse, introduce things that clearly demonstrate you are pushing out of a comfort zone, and to be moderate in your efforts.  This means, whatever you choose to do, have it be something that is ‘introductory’ in nature.  In other words, if he is very bashful in the bedroom, buy the sheer underwear rather than the leather ones with silver studs and spikes outlining the crotch area!

 

In the next installment, we’ll discuss non-sexual affection. 

 

And remember, if your spouse’s behavior can be linked to sexual trauma (molestation, rape, etc.), please seek counseling by a qualified pastor or therapist.  Their training will help both of you understand the path to emotional, mental and spiritual healing.

Please visit ThePureBed.com for all of your married couples’ intimacy product needs.

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

One Response to Married Sex: Sexual Inhibitions Part II

  1. Wine Blog says:

    I like the sheer underwear! I wish wife’s would be more proactive in engaging the sex. My wife will get down any time I want to but the thing that would turn me on even more is if she initiated things once in awhile. Like if she just whipped out my junk and started bobbin’ I would go nuts!!! It’s always the man who initiates things.

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