How long is normal?  …for making love…

Some wonder.  I’m mostly fascinated why any of us care to define what is normal by what others do.  To answer the questions directly, I don’t know.  I’m not sure anyone really knows.  There are surveys out there that try to capture some sense of what others are doing.  I’ve not found a comprehensive scientific study that speaks to this question.  Besides, people lie in many of these studies…especially the penis size ones.  Anyway…

My mental compilation of online surveys read suggests to me that a significant number of people (who surf the internet) average 3 to 5 minutes of sexual intimacy.  That would be from naked to ‘are you washing first, or me?’  When asked the ideal, most seem to indicate about 15-20 minutes is preferred.

Now of course, foreplay is a harder area for which to determine a time value.  I mean…foreplay can be the morning kiss with a little rub-a-dub-dub to playful banter over the phone at lunch to full on oral.  Wowza!

Why would we want to be average anyhow?  What’s that all about?  And how are the habits of others indicative of what is best for us when it comes to an area as personal and foundational to the marriage relationship as sex?  Okay…that question is so long, I can’t answer it.  Sex is personal.  Shouldn’t we personalize it…as married couples?

How long should sexual intercourse last?  Long enough.   Let’s avoid worrying about whether we’re intimate often enough, for long enough or whether we‘do’ enough.

Talk to each other.  Spell out what you’d like to give and receive.  Listen, then respond.  Give yourselves one to the other and make each other’s pleasure your focus.  Sometimes, you’ll find it lasting 5 minutes.  At other times, it’ll be 45 minutes or an hour.  Be attentive and creative, in tune to your spouse’s desires and needs.  Learn their heart’s thoughts and their body’s erogenous map.  It’ll all work out.

Don’t sacrifice or overlook quality pursuing quantity!

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

2 Responses to Enough?

  1. Amitabh says:

    I appreciate your openness and faith in each other.
    Good going!
    And oh yes! Statistics on sex is a whole lot of crap. I am sure they are either falsified or force fit to make a point. This includes surveys.
    Have a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

  2. thepurebed says:

    Thank you. We appreciate your comments and visit.

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