But Is It Special?

Orgasm is sweet violence.  A thrashing body, muscular contractions, perspiration, rapid shallow breathing and a wash of happy hormones bring the individual to ecstasy.  And he or she lies spent.  But was it special?

What makes sexual intimacy special?  Is it the primal entangling of your bodies and the sensation of genital union?  Is it the measure of passion observed by the ardent manner in which sexual activity is engaged?  Is it how horny you are?  How long you go?  How powerful you climax?  Is sex special when you perceive extraordinary personal performance?

What makes sex special?

I’ve only made love to one woman in my life.  And I’m married to her.  I’m not boasting.  The information is pertinent.  I’ve only ever wanted to please one person.  My wife.  I am “trained” to pursue her pleasure and she mine.  Our definition of sexual success is having the other know that we were attentive and invested in their fulfillment.

Over the decades, this hasn’t been absolutely true of me.  Some sex has been functional, comfortable and passable.  But on the whole, we make it a point to make it special.   It’s our commitment that makes the difference.   The healthy approach to sex in marriage is to see the other’s fulfillment as our primary responsibility.  Ideally, both are served more often than not.  Sex should not be a chore but, at times, special will yield to practical.  However, in retrospect, a review of our life together should reveal that special was the standard for our lovemaking. 

So, if ordinary is the old hump ‘n slump where the first to orgasm marks the end of lovemaking then special means…well, not doing it that way would make it special.  Committing to our mate’s pleasure would be special.

If ordinary is 60 seconds of kissing, 45 seconds of rubbing, 4 minutes of intercourse and going to bed then special means…well, not being that way is special.  Demonstrating creative selflessness is special.

Special is also memorable, above and beyond, ideal, preferred, more, exceeding…excellent! 

Let’s make a resolution!  Whereas, in terms of age, 50 is the new 40, we resolve that special is the new ordinary!  Can we make love special?  It doesn’t always take more time or energy.  But it will always mean making your mate’s happiness your mission! 

Married?  Visit ThePureBed.com, your married couples intimacy store!   Get candles, intimacy games, marital aids, body oils, lingerie, intensifying and desensitizing gels and so much more.  No porn, spam or live models on our site.  Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Twitter

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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