When Masturbation Is Mastering You!

Compulsive masturbation.   While we are led to believe it typically happens among men (particularly younger men), it can and does occur among women also.   The compulsion is clear by observing certain behaviors in yourself or spouse:

1. Masturbates everyday.
2. May do it even after orgasm during sex.
3. Must masturbate, even when very tired or sick.
4. Cannot explain reason for wanting to masturbate (relieve stress, high arousal with no opportunity to be intimate w/ spouse, etc.).

The deed is habitual and feels necessary.   Without making judgement, we wonder what effect this has on the quality and quantity of sex in a marriage.   What are the emotional effects on the other spouse who ‘catches’ their partner doing what they think is ‘unnecessary to do’.   And is performance ultimately affected when secret, persistent and frequent masturbation is engaged?   Is the partner finding it hard to maintain an erection during actual sex?   Does fantasy have to be discussed or mentally considered to make sex pleasurable?   Is there emotional disconnection for the compulsive masturbator during intimacy?   What do you think?

We find that we often learn more from burdens than blessings.   This is not about the rightness or wrongness of masturbation.  What is at issue is identifying any behaviors that cause us to act irrationally and against the best interest of our own situations.

Somethings that feels good to us…may not be good for us.  Behavior that is born of dysfunction and which overwhelms our self control…requires we seek help.  At least, we must be honest with ourselves and our spouse that there is an issue to address.

Confession is good for the soul you know?

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

One Response to When Masturbation Is Mastering You!

  1. Starla says:

    My husband has a problem (in my opinion) of watching porno and masterbating on a daily basis. It is affecting our sex life because “normal” sex with me is not enough to turn him on anymore. He feels angry that I do not want to watch it with him, and feels that I am judging him for doing so, but it is my belief that this is very wrong and harmful to our relationship. I do not know how to approach the subject without bruising his feelings, but I am hurt when told I must give “2 days notice” if I want to have sex with my husband. So many times I have attempted to initiate sex only to be told, it’s too late, he already masturbated a couple times that day and won’t be able to perform. It is extremely harmful to my confidence AND our marriage.

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