What You Thinkin’?: Focusing During Lovemaking

‘Did I turn the heater down?’, “I hope I have enough bread for the kids’ lunches tomorrow.’, ‘You know, if I leave right after the kids go to school, I can probably stop by my friend’s house for a while after I’m done at the church.’….

These are the kind of random thoughts that can float through my head if I’m not consciously attending to the moment during times of intimacy.  It has less to do with hubby’s performance than the inclination of the human mind to continually process and assess.

It took a few years before I figured out how to conquer the random thinking.  I’ll just tell you a couple of ways I do it (that I believe are healthy), then I hope you can share yours.

1. I talk.  Talking to my husband during sex and listening to him talk to me help keeps me ‘dialed in’ during THE DO.  It’s not always provocative talk.  It’s humor, playful taunting, occasional ‘I love you’, and compliments.

2. I focus on the environmental things that increase my arousal.  I like the sound of heavy breathing, moaning, slurping, sucking, etc.  I’m turned on by the smell of semen and the general smell of sex mixed with the aroma of scented candles.  These environmental elements are a great focus to stay ‘in the mood’.

3. I focus on what I am doing to bring him pleasure.  If we are into intercourse in the missionary position, though it is his power position, I can move my hips forward and backward as a counter move to his own.  I can tighten my pelvic muscles as when doing Kegels to increase his enjoyment.  I can simply describe what he is doing into his ear.  Just the act of doing that can be more arousing to him…and me.  Sometimes, a sensuous kiss gets the mind back on track.

We are both great lovers.  However, we both can fall victim to rogue thoughts.  Do you lose your focus sometimes during intimate moments?  How do you successfully get it back on track?

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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