Hat, Coat and Ego Please…

For a great number of us, checking our ego at the door is difficult when it comes to sex.   Often taking our cues from the media reinforced(pornography influenced) male sexual persona as domineering, we think of sex with our wives in terms of conquest.   A woman gagging on our penis, violent thrusting into her while pulling her hair and a general disregard for what specifically pleases her spells trouble in the bedroom and darkness in the heart.  The inflated sense of self is no more evident than when it comes to how we view our role during intercourse.

It is a tried truth that many (perhaps most) of our wives respond better sexually when they feel safe, considered and equal in the bedroom…and outside of it.  This is not to say that we have to be sexually conservative or dull.  It is to say that we must be surrendered to the notion that the strength of sexual intimacy in a healthy marriage balances on giving as well as receiving.  We can’t expect our wives to be enthusiastic about oral sex if they have been consistently cast in the role as givers and rarely as receivers.  Moreover, we can’t expect them to give it eagerly when we give to them half-hearted and dispassionately.

The best approach to sexual intimacy has to do with selflessness.  We’ve posted on this in more detail previously. For the sake of this discussion, let us just say that we find it is more blessed to give than to receive…in most every sense.  A wife’s perception that she is likely t enjoy herself sexually and that effort will be made to respond to her needs is likely to engender more consistent desire ad a more intense arousal.  The benefit of these dispositions is that she is increasingly likely to also want to please her husband and try new lovemaking activities or techniques.

Making love, when seen as a means to strengthening the marriage bond and enjoying one another, afford more than the anticipation of orgasm at its end.  The experience of making love among two committed spouses who are emotionally and physically invested in one another…is a gift unto itself.  Once begun, neither wants it to end.

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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