Tired of Conflict

If there is a top ten list of topics of argument for married couples, there is no doubt that money, sex and time share places at the top!  You may be surprised to read me saying to you that arguing about these things isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Give me a chance to explain the value of conflict…before you write me off!

In an upcoming special May edition of our newsletter, Love Notes, we will explore a process for working through the more difficult areas of our existence as a family unit.  However, as an introduction, we’d like to make the case to you that conflict, even heated, isn’t inherently bad.  What makes conflict undesirable is when it is non-productive and focuses on personality and pain rather than a thorough vetting of ideas and perspectives of relevant issues.  In other words, arguing is perceived as bad because we often descend into personal attacks, rehashing of old unresolved issues and other behaviors that distract.

Good conflict is when our communication is focused on explaining and defending our perspectives of issues and providing relative information and experiences which have led to those perspectives.  Think about it.  It is when our assumptions are challenged that we are most likely to question ourselves, dig deep and sharpen our thinking…or abandon a bad perspective.

We will introduce a 3 point strategy for discussing money, sex and time management issues as well as other contentious topics.  The 3 point strategy will involve exposing concerns, prioritizing concerns and resolving concerns.

You can begin to immediately address unresolved issues like “I need you to help more around the house”, “I need more sex”, “I need more romance”, “We need to agree on how to discipline the kids”, “We need to spend more time together as a family”, “I don’t know which bills to pay (not enough money)”…and other challenges for which we feel, often, unprepared.

Conflict should be a confrontation of ideas with the sole purpose of ensuring that the ideas that best serves the family’s interests…win!  If you haven’t, subscribe to the monthly newsletter, Love Notes, do it now.  It’s free!

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: