Jon and Kate G.: What Their Story Means To Me

Jon and Kate Gosselin at Lincoln Center Discovery Event

Jon and Kate Gosselin at Lincoln Center Discovery Event

Because of our daughters’ (identical twins) affection for the sextuplets on TLC’s Jon and Kate Plus 8, we find ourselves monitoring this show in light of the title couple’s ‘relationship issues’.  So much for family friendly viewing, TLC!

In watching this season’s shows and some weekend reruns, I think I see 5 key life lessons from this couples sad (and well documented) saga.  Do you see them too?

1. Be aware.  Children bless but, also, stress us.  In season 5, Kate relents “Parents of multiples have like three times the divorce rate…’  She would go on to confess “And I thought we were gonna beat that…”   The romantic notion of raising a family comes with the harsh reality that children suck up every conceivable human resource.  time, attention, patience and more are theirs to demand and…demand they will.  Couples have to be emotionally mature enough to know how and when to integrate the equally compelling need to focus on one another.  While it may seem selfish to demand you have alone time, not making our marriage a priority, poses a greater threat to our children’s future.  Namely?  The probable disintegration of their parent’s relationship!  Ugh!

2. Be careful.  Sticks and stones break bones…but words kill spirit.  Kate admits her treatment of Jon, at times, was not constructive.  however, Jon suffered silently.  His eye rolling turns out to be a not-so-good method of communicating dissatisfaction.  Our sarcastic and demeaning words and tomes can cause our spouses to feel devalued and lead to serious relationship consequences.  Yet, not using our words to communicate our problems can be equally consequential to a relationship.  Respect is huge.  Respectful communication is huger…more huge…hugey…whatever!

3. Be alert!  Our behavior everywhere is a reflection of our home.  Jon running around with the schoolteacher isn’t cool.  Whether or not he’s sexually unfaithful, he’s placed his wife and family in an embarrassing position.  it was all avoidable.  Transparency and accountability are critical to a strong marriage.  Letting our spouse in our plans, doing what we said we’d be doing and where we said we’d being doing it…promote ‘trust equity’.  Trust equity is a reserve of comfort a spouse builds when the other is consistent in their actions, behaviors and judgements.  Jon broke the trust equity.  But, maybe so did Kate.  She acknowledged that Jon wasn’t okay with the increasingly more invasive presence of the cameras.  yet, she declared that they’d keep doing the show!  What?  It seems to me that the glare of flame may be blinding this young mom to the priorities of family and fidelity.  be alert!

4. Be honest.  Kate and John recall their first meeting.  Jon admits that he had a girlfriend at the time.  Kate interrupted “…she was gone the next day!”  Well what was is…and what is was.  Now what?  We can often judge our ends by our beginnings.  Somewhere in the middle, we are able to rewrite the script…if we are honest with ourselves.

5. Be protective.  Nurturing a family takes hardwork.  And there are many influences that threaten the moral and emotional success of a family.  Cameras in your mix throughout the day would be one of those influences.  Let’s face it.  Televised marriage/family reality shows don’t have a great track record.    How many of us would not find the prying eyes of others invasive in our homes?  There’s a reason why we have window treatments.  Protective.

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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