Glowing Together While Growing Apart-Part I

Newlyweds!  Remember hearing your names said together for the first time, ” I present to you, Mr. and Mrs…”   Remember everyone commenting on how great you two looked together, how in love you appeared.

Marriage brings on multiplied responsibilities.  Marriage with kids sees our responsibilities exponentially multiplied.  And the fresh smell of new marriage can grow musty and stale…even rank!

So, what happens?

Well, in too many cases, love is put on autopilot.   Couples feel compelled to maintain a facade of marital health while lacking a real commitment to nurturing the relationship upon which the marriage is founded. 

Many failing couples live largely the way they did before marriage.   Adaptation to a life together is relegated to some changes in financial management and living arrangements.  The presumption seems to be that the important choices relate to child-rearing, career goals, whose furniture stays or goes, where the couple will reside and the like.  Having made these choices, each spouse is left believing there’s nothing left to do but live happily ever after

Couples, then,  live from event to event.  The wedding, conception of first child, first big move together, buying first home together…  These are big moments in our marriages.  But what’s missing?

What’s missing is the stuff that long-lasting marriages are made of…a shared vision for a shared future, purposeful and constructive communication, emotional and spiritually maturing together and recognizing how to adapt to the impact of change…together.

An outward appearance of marital accord is NOT always an accurate barometer of the true state of a marriage.  Often, friends and acquaintance of a couple have stated in earnest how great a couple seemed together.  This, as they lamented how surprised they were at said couples announcement of separation or divorce.

Don’t be fooled by the hype.  We must work to have our marriages be as resilient, organic in growth and attractive as they seem.  In Part II, we examine the pitfalls that erode a marriage from the inside while leaving it looking in good standing from the outside…even to a particular spouse within that same marriage.

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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