Is Your Attitude Towards Sex Healthy?

How do we gauge the health of our attitude towards sex?

Review this chart that contrasts behaviors native to sexual abuse/addiction versus healthy sexuality. If there is a behavior that concerns or confuses you, talk to an experienced trained professional and/or your pastor or counselor.  How you think about sex significantly effects how you and your spouse will experience and feel about it.

Sexual Abuse and Addiction                   Healthy Sex

Sex is uncontrollable energy                                Sex is controllable energy
Sex is an obligation                                                  Sex is a choice
Sex is addictive                                                         Sex is a natural drive
Sex is hurtful                                                             Sex is nurturing, healing
Sex is a condition for love or devoid of love       Sex is an expression of love
Sex is “doing to” someone                                        Sex is sharing with someone; 
                                                                                       Sex is part of who I am
Sex is void of communication                               Sex requires communication
Sex is secretive                                                          Sex is private
Sex is exploitative                                                     Sex is respectful 
Sex is deceitful                                                           Sex is honest
Sex benefits one person                                            Sex is mutual
Sex is emotionally distant                                      Sex is intimate
Sex is irresponsible                                                   Sex is responsible
Sex is unsafe                                                               Sex is safe
Sex has no limits                                                       Sex has boundaries
Sex is power over someone                                     Sex is empowering
Sex requires a double life                                        Sex enhances who you really are
Sex compromises your values                               Sex reflects your values
Sex feels shameful                                                     Sex enhances self-esteem 

The HealthySex comparison chart is republished here with the permission of its author, sex and relationship therapist, Wendy Maltz LCSW, DST. More information about the chart and other resources for developing healthy sexuality are available on her educational website:

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

4 Responses to Is Your Attitude Towards Sex Healthy?

  1. pearcej4 says:

    I would also like to mention that sex is creative and inventive 😉

  2. thepurebed says:

    We agree, Jade.

    Creativity is a great asset if and when spouses operate from a place of emotional and spiritual health. It can be a distraction when they are not so operating.

  3. kelley says:

    That seems like a stifling list of negatives….Depending upon the hearts of the two people some of the stuff in the negative list doesn’t neccessarily have to be negative….just sayin

  4. thepurebed says:

    We appreciate that you read the article.

    Not sure how the behaviors identified as unhealthy qualify as anything other than… However, we all come to the subject of what constitutes ‘healthy’ sexual behavior with established biases, beliefs and suppositions.

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