The Question of Submission in Marriage-Part II

So, we’re having this conversation about submission in marriage.  We’re talking about it from a Biblical perspective.

Submission is a hard pill to swallow for many, though not for all.  To the extent that submission has its place in marriage, who submits?  How does that look?  And what is the proper environment promoted by scripture?

We certainly would have to talk about love and respect because they are two primary elements in Paul’s teaching on marriage and are witnessed throughout scripture as necessary features of human interaction.  Believers are to submit to one another, humbly and reverently. (Ephesians 5:21)  We are to submit to certain authorities in our lives.  (Romans 13:1-2)  It is a part of the human experience to have to demonstrate humility and to subordinate one’s right to disagree to enable a greater good.  And so in marriage, God commands that submission be demonstrated by the wife for the good of the home.

However, such submission is clearly to be in an environment of respect and love.  A wife’s submission does NOT mean she has no voice, weight in decision-making or no valuable contributions.  To the contrary, a wife’s thoughts, perspectives, evaluations and experiences are paramount in considering most matters in the home…and that affect a couple’s life together.  A husband who assumes that his ‘headship’ is equivalent to that of a business-owner is a husband who is ignorant of the power of respect and love.

Respect is defined by any effort that pays particular attention with intent to discern value.  love is any effort that pays particular attention to restoring, promoting and/or acknowledging value.  In an environment of respect and love, the discussions aren’t about who has what power or who ultimately makes a particular decision.  In many healthy marriages, the responsibility of decision-making in many important operational areas is distributed between each spouse according to each strength.  The husband acknowledges (respects) the wife’s value in finances when he trusts her to develop and manage the budget…because he knows he’s not quite as good at it as she.  The wife acknowledges (loves) the husband in his role as a primary bread-winner when she prepares his lunch for work and/or dinner each evening because she knows his heart is to provide the best for his family.

Of course, there are different scenarios in each of our lives as some women also work outside the home and struggle to balance home and work lives.  Respect and love are never more important than during these times.  And when respect and love are prioritized in our marriages, even during the most stressful seasons of our relationships, we learn to find comfort in the reality that our spouse will always act in the best interest of our relationship and of our home.  We develop an ever-deepening trust in them and the stability of our marriage. 

This trust, in turn, makes submission a cornerstone of a strong marital bond that is neither threatening nor demeaning…but enabling of real intimacy.

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About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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