The Humpty Tweet

We tweeted something earlier that struck a chord with many.  The responses ranged from affirmation to inquiry to the questioning of the legitimacy of our point.

So, we thought we’d carry the discussion over to our blog to expand and expound upon what we consider to be a valid observation.

The tweet?

“Too many ‘Cinderellas’ are marrying ‘Humpty Dumpties’, wondering why they aren’t happy ever after. They #married a broken character.”
Because we have followers from many cultures and countries, we dare not assume.  Here is the nineteenth century rhyme in which the character, Humpty Dumpty, is introduced to us.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.”
We’ll provide a brief breakdown of our quite narrow  intention for this tweet.  However, to better understand our perspective, you must remember that we are Christians who tweet, post and write with certain and often unspoken assumptions:
  1. Jesus Christ is the Son of God whose death at Calvary and resurrection redeems and justifies us.
  2. Those who believe on Christ have access to immeasurable power, including healing.
  3. Marriage remains God’s providence and we take the “unequally yoked” counsel seriously.
For us, Humpty (meant to be gender neutral as is Cinderella in our tweet) represents a broken person who did not recover from his fall.  Moreover, the help that did come to him was ineffective.  He laid broken, disjointed, stuck where he’d fallen.
 
The brokeness of which our tweet speaks is of a spiritual and emotional nature that is so severe as to have become enduring  and defining of a person’s life.  They are stuck just where they’ve fallen.
 
What do we know of Humpty?  He is broken.  This is the defining, unresolved reality of his life.  Whether we read it as an unresolved addiction, an issue with moral uprightness or some other issue that impacts a quality of life, if we marry someone who has emotional and/or spiritual brokeness that is pervasive, we mustn’t assume that changing their marital status will change who and what they are (character and conduct). 
 
When someone’s life is in such disrepair as to confound the basic remedies we seek (counseling, therapy, wise counsel of others), anyone who weds them joins themselves to that brokeness and ought not expect to take a conventional marriage journey.
 
When we marry someone, we marry them for their better and their worse.  If we marry a person with the brokeness of which we speak, we had better be prepared to get a goodly dose of ‘worse’.
 
Can this person be helped?  We believe so.  Can this person be healed?  If they believe so, then yes.  Should we marry with the hope that someone will get helped or be healed of their pervasive emotional or spiritual brokeness?  No, not if we expect them to change as a result of being married.
 
We marry for who someone is, not for who we hope them to someday be.  We all can be improved and have unresolved issues.  But the brokeness of which we speak exceeds the need for a lifetime of development with which we are all born.
 
 Those who do not share our assumptions will often not share our conclusions.  We’re okay with this.  We’re a voice…crying in the wilderness.
 
Are you following us on Twitter?  If yes, we appreciate you.  If not, here we are!  What about Facebook where we often extend the conversations?

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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