Scheduling Sex: Make Your Own Special Effects

Your life can be…hectic.  You have children, a job(s) or business, and a multiplicity of responsibilities.  It’s not happening spontaneously.  Too often, it’s barely happening at all.  Sex.

The prevailing myth is that sex in a marriage  is somehow made better by spontaneity.  That’s a media driven expectation accompanied by a soundtrack of crashing waves and fireworks painting a night sky.

Get over it.  Your life is not a movie with manufactured special effects.

The truth is that most things essential to our lives need to occur at regular intervals and we manage our lives around them–eating, sleeping, showering.  We do these things at fairly set times.

Shouldn’t something as essential to the life of our marriage as sex likewise merit a set time?

If the concern is that scheduling sex makes it mundane or removes a spark, let us assure you nothing could be further from the truth.  By scheduling it, you signal its priority and allow yourself the opportunity to adjust your activities accordingly–as with eating, sleeping and showering.

When both spouses anticipate the event, they can be more thoughtful about their contributions to it.  When both spouses KNOW it’s going to happen, they can better collaborate to ensure it happens.

  1. Share tasks to help preserve one another’s energy.
  2. Be playful, flirt throughout the day in phone calls, texts and what not.
  3. Develop a plan for what you will “give” your mate when you make love.
  4. Prepare yourself and your environment for the intimate acts that will occur. [i.e. clean your body and your bedroom.]

What’s special about sex is not that the moment ‘sneaks up’ on us but that it is a sincere and thoughtful expression of our love and desire for our mate.  Sex is the most apparent manifestation of two becoming one.

Spontaneous sex isn’t off the table.  But you won’t have the feast or famine thing going on either.

Agree to mark the calendar for the next two weeks with ‘ML’ (Make Love).  Schedule sex.  Then make your own soundtrack.  Make your own waves.  Make your own special effects!

Visit us at for your married couples intimacy needs!

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

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