3 Things We Think Married Couples Must Know
January 4, 2012 4 Comments
In no particular order, here are three issues we look forward to blogging more about in 2012! Of course, when we talk about sex, it is in the context of marriage between one man and one woman.
1. Orgasm isn’t less important than intimacy. God made orgasm the physiological high-point of sex when he created the sexual response cycle to build to that end. We don’t need to diminish its importance to exalt the importance of emotional/relational/spiritual closeness. These things aren’t mutually exclusive.
Perhaps the better message is that we should learn one another’s bodies so that lovemaking is an exercise in service resulting in pleasure with climax as a natural end. If a spouse decides they don’t need to orgasm on a particular occasion, fine. It’s not compulsory…except for when desired! I Cor. 7:2-5
2. Having more sex doesn’t make us want to have more sex. Having more good sex helps us want more sex. Know one is anxious to re-experience a bad or even mediocre meal. If the sex is lack-luster, poor or painful, why would we want more?
Also, exercise, a balanced diet, having a strong marital relationship and healthy bodies help us to have a healthy libido.
3. Porn is NEVER a benign stimulant to our sex life. Porn disrupts the plan of God for the sacredness of sex in our married lives. Porn is commercialized denigration of womanhood as well as an inaccurate portrayal of manhood. And porn is a way of experiencing sex without intimacy. The images and offerings of porn are a contradiction to intimacy.
Intimacy is an intense focus on and into our mate. Porn requires we an outer focus. Those who take seriously the ‘one flesh’ principle of Genesis 2:24 can never be dismissive of the importance of intimacy during sexual relations.
It’s important that we be thoughtful about the role and impact of sex on our marriages. We diminish them at our own peril.