How Porn Affects Marriage

Guest post by Mike Taylor

Many couples who report problems in their marriage often point to a poor sex life. When the desire to perform sexually is there but there are emotional barriers to sexual intimacy, it can really strain a marriage. Humans need sex and intimacy—it’s a deep biological condition—so when there physical or psychological problems to sex, everything else in the marriage can be affected.

The Problem

A poor sex life in a marriage can be one or several things working together to prevent a couple from achieving healthy sex. Here are three of the most common reasons that a spouse may not be able to participate fully in healthy sexual expression:

 

  1. Physical and Psychological. When one spouse is suffering from the inability to perform sexually or from a decreased libido, the negative feelings of shame, anxiety, fear and worry exacerbate the problem. It’s quite common for sexual dysfunction to create new problems in that person’s life, such as depression or substance abuse. All this can put a damper on the physical and emotional intimacy so critical for a successful marriage.
  2. Marital Strain. Another cause for sexual dysfunction is the deterioration of the relationship. Many couples are reluctant to admit when they are having problems outside of sex, and refuse to examine their interactions on a daily basis. Even if the marriage seems to work on the surface, there can be underlying issues that create tension, resentment and even anger. These unresolved marital issues can result in problems in the bedroom and lead to unmet needs and increasing stress.
  3. Past Trauma. It’s also possible that a past emotional or sexual trauma may be affecting one spouse’s ability to have sex. Even if performance wasn’t an issue previously, there may be some trigger event that re-opens the feelings of shame or fear the spouse once experienced as a result of the trauma. If one spouse is turning to porn in marriage rather than dealing with underlying issues, professional therapy can help resolve the issue.

 

The good news is that these issues can be treated and overcome as long as both spouses are willing to commit to the marriage and do what it takes to work together in overcoming the spouse’s challenges.

The Solution

Most people are not eager to share their troubles in the bedroom, and discussing sexual dysfunction can be embarrassing and shameful to some. However, the only way that a couple experiencing sexual dysfunction can find true recovery is to consult with a licensed sex therapist with experience in dealing with the particular circumstances of the spouse’s issues.

A licensed therapist can help couples with sexual dysfunction find a solution to reverse the patterns of marital problems that contribute to one spouse’s inability to perform sexually. Sexual fulfillment as a couple is one of the strongest bonds and is a key factor in creating a healthy, stable marriage. While it may be difficult or challenging for a married couple to work through the issues affecting the marriage, it’s definitely worth it to achieve healthy sexual expression once again.

Sex and Marriage

Sex is vitally important in marriage and when there are obstacles to achieving sexual intimacy, it can affect the entire relationship. A healthy sex life is evidence that two people are on the same wavelength about intimacy, emotional connections and personal expression. It also reflects the deep level of trust needed for a marriage to survive the hard times. The unique connections established between couples with sex brings them closer together as a team ready to take on whatever other challenges may arise.

Mike Taylor is the Online Outreach Coordinator for Desert Solace.com specializing in marriage and family topics, including human sexuality, gender equality and marriage equality.

About ThePureBed
Welcome and thanks for giving us a once over! Our blog celebrates and honors sexual intimacy in the context of marriage.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: