A Stronger Marriage in 2011: 3 Simple Ways

Laughing couple.

Loving couple.

As we prepare to enter a new year, many ponder what changes can be made to make their lives better.  As we blog about marriage and sexual intimacy here at The Pure Bed’s Blog, we want to briefly review three areas where moderate investment can yield great gain.  These three areas are Read more of this post

5 Statements That Reveal Serious Problems In Marriage

Over the years, we’ve heard some common complaints.  Typically made in exasperation, the statements themselves may be as telling of the problems as the description of circumstances surrounding them.

While not always the case, the 5 statements below often point to a need for action on the speaker’s part.

Statement 1: I thought he or she would change after Read more of this post

10 Ways to Revolutionize Your Marriage This Year

You know what a resolution for the new year is?  It is an acknowledgement for a need to change.  And since it comes in the form of a resolution, it is also a tacit admission that the change may be difficult.

Are you resolved to see improvements in your marriage?  Here are 10 areas of focus to make this a Read more of this post

Glowing Together While Growing Apart-Part II

Riding the high!

That’s what we are doing when the energy of our marital relationship rests on the Read more of this post

The Other Sex Talk

Talk to me!Situation: You’d love to tell your husband or wife the way you feel about your sex life or about that thing they do during lovemaking that drives you nuts, but their too sensitive to take your feedback constructively. If you are honest with them, they are going to get defensive. It’s happened before.Question: So, what do you do? Tell them the truth and have them blow up or shut down? Or, keep it in and suffer silently?

Answer: Read more of this post

Marriage and Manhood: Struggling with Listening

Husbands, how often, when our wives are sharing their heart, thoughts or challenges with us, do we assume the role of problem solver? How automatic is it for us to want to share our ideas of what should or should have been done or said?  Is their another role we might play?

While sharing such thoughts may be appropriate at times, there are a fair number of times when she just wants to be heard and supported through empathy. We may be naturally inclined to be rescuers, problem solvers…fixers.  We hear our spouse in distress or perplexed and view it as an opportunity to shed light and resolve.  In so doing, we may forgo an opportunity to play another key role in any relationship…that of a listener.

I know I struggle with this. In most every other area of my life, I am asked to solve problems and make decisions. It is unnatural for me to listen to people’s challenges and not immediately start to conceive of ways to address them.  It is sometimes lost on me that simple empathy and expressions of compassion are all that are required of me.  In the movie Superman Returns, the hero’s father (Jor-EL) teaches him that he must use his powers to save the world from things they cannot themselves manage…leave the rest to the world.

Our wives do not necessarily want to replace their wisdom with our own.  At times, they are simply looking to share their hearts with us and know that we support them in their own journey for answers and resolution.  It may be appropriate to ask whether they’d like our advice or are just looking for a sounding board or shoulder on which to lean.  As we struggle to learn how and when to be listeners, let’s remember the wisdom given to the son of Jor-EL.

Married?  Visit us at ThePureBed.com, your married couples intimacy store.

Ten Things To Know About Behaviors in Marriage

A few years ago, we came across these ten things to know about our behaviors in marriage.  We’ve found them to be fairly foundational.  We believe you will also. Read more of this post

Married Sex: Trust Issues

You’ve heard it before.  What happens in the bedroom is often affected by what happens in the kitchen, the living room, the den, the driveway, on the telephone, through email, on the cellphone…  You get the picture?  The constant arguing, the growing resentment between you, the accusations and suspicions all point to behaviors indicative of mistrust.  Intimacy isn’t really happening in sex if there isn’t a fundamental trust between spouses.  Without trust, all you have are the cold distant mechanics of intercourse.  There can be so much more. Read more of this post

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