A slavish unthinking adherence to a sexual routine may be comfortable and familiar but it is , likely, boring and unfulfilling.
This is the plight of too many married couples who’ve consigned sex to a weekend event that is more function than fun. What can we say to get us to see the necessity of experiencing sexual intimacy that is physically superior, mentally stimulating and emotionally binding? How do we get us to the next level of sexual fulfillment? Are we ready to upgrade our attitude toward sex?
Studies show our first real education about sex seems to be between the ages of 12 and 16 years old. Most report primary sex education was by friends, media, school and a first partner. Low on the list of primary sources for sex education were parents, guardians, other family members and church. Ouch!
The key to ever successfully improving or changing is to recognize and acknowledge our deficiency. Is it possible that we’ve acquired too many bad sexual habits and wrong information over our lifetimes? Might our expectations, outlooks and experiences be colored by wrong-minded views and inappropriate demands?
This is certainly true in too many cases.
One way to know whether we have a healthy attitude toward sex is to ask our spouse whether they see us as committed to their sexual satisfaction and devoted to being an increasingly skilled lover.
Unfortunately, another hurdle in our sex lives is that we lie to one another. “You’re the biggest I’ve ever had” (Makes size an issue.) “You put your thing down, big Daddy!” (Makes him think hard aggressive penetration is the key to sexual success!) And, of course, the rap on men is that we say precious little during sex. We just grunt and grope! (Makes her think all she has to do is moan and wiggle.)
Let’s re-evaluate what is important about our physical intimacy. What are we accomplishing by coming together (pun sorta intended)? What can we accomplish?
Let’s start having serious discussions about developing sexual attitudes wherein sex is a means (not an end) of giving ourselves to one another. In a relationship where the central commitment is to ‘have and to hold ’til death do us part’, what can be more fundamental than to share love that is selfless, focused and unquestionably committed. Sex can be that… Sex can do that…