Falling Out of Love

“I don’t love you like that anymore.  I’ve fallen out of love with you.”  A short time later, papers to dissolve the marriage are served.  Divorce.  No.  This is too convenient!  What are we really saying when we declare we’ve “fallen out of love”? Read more of this post

Marriage: Free Help with Communication

Vector image of two human figures with hands i...

Image via Wikipedia

Have you had some issues in your marriage with which you and your mate struggle continuously?  Have you felt like it was difficult to have a substantive conversation because one or both of you got defensive, shut down or struggled to understand the other’s perspective?

What about your sex life?  Are there things you’d like to discuss but don’t know how to bring them up or explain them in a way that is constructive?  There is a FREE Read more of this post

Don’t Blame A Bad Marriage on Children

How does the jingle go?

First comes the kiss
Then comes the marriage
Then comes the baby in the baby carriage

Then comes the 67 percent decline in marital satisfaction says one study of married couples with children. Over the years, studies have consistently born out what many of you suspect and observe…that the addition of a Read more of this post

An Adolescent View of Adult Relations

The Rand Corporation, a non-profit think tank, conducted an analysis on Adolescent Relationships as Precursors of Healthy Adult  Marriages.  If you get an opportunity, download the free PDF which comes in full or summary version. What most interests us is the network of influences on our perceptions of relationships and expectations of our future.  Ethnicity, economic conditions and environment are broad predictors of future relationship behaviors.  However, as parents we should appreciate how manageable many influences are that lead to the development of our children’s perspectives of romance, love and marriage.  While we can’t control the outcomes of their lives, we believe that we can nurture them toward a healthy understanding of what healthy intimate relationships look like as well as what their roles must or can be in those relationships. 

Here are a few of the conditions Read more of this post

An Inconvenient Truth: Gores Separate

Al and Tipper Gore

Former Vice President Al Gore and wife, Tipper Gore

After 40 years of marriage, who would have ‘thunk’ it?  The Clintons are still together.  Al and Tipper Gore are not!  What’s the inconvenient truth?  Al and Tipper go their separate ways.

Marriage can be hard and just putting in years is not enough to get a couple to the ’til death do us part part.  We don’t revel in or celebrate the dissolution of anyone’s marriage.  And we do not suggest that the Gores didn’t put work into their marriage. 

We are simply reminded Read more of this post

5 Statements That Reveal Serious Problems In Marriage

Over the years, we’ve heard some common complaints.  Typically made in exasperation, the statements themselves may be as telling of the problems as the description of circumstances surrounding them.

While not always the case, the 5 statements below often point to a need for action on the speaker’s part.

Statement 1: I thought he or she would change after Read more of this post

Marital Intimacy: Candy, Songs, Candlelight and Sex

I read a great line on the dust cover of a book.  Intimacy is not technique.

It isn’t exactly a profound statement.  Then again, many of the important truths in our lives don’t sound particularly deep when we say them.  For instance, all that glitters is not goldis an old adage.  No reasonable person will argue with its accuracy and no-one would swoon at the hearing of it.  It is a basic truth.  Things that look good to us aren’t automatically good for us…or of inherent value.  However, knowing this truth, many of us buy cars, choose mates and clothes that look good but are not what we need.

So back to intimacy is not technique.  I shake my head that even, as women, many of us often Read more of this post

Glowing Together While Growing Apart-Part III

“I’m making important changes.  Why can’t  he(she)?”

Exasperated and desperate, many of us are looking for change.  We are willing to make meaningful change within ourselves.  Yet, we feel shorted when our spouse does not reciprocate by responding to OUR need for them to make similar changes.

My mother-in-law told me outright during my wife’s and my engagement, “I’ve raised her already.  Don’t you go try doing it again!

Wiser words have seldom been spoken.  Growing together as a couple is not Read more of this post

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