5 Statements That Reveal Serious Problems In Marriage

Over the years, we’ve heard some common complaints.  Typically made in exasperation, the statements themselves may be as telling of the problems as the description of circumstances surrounding them.

While not always the case, the 5 statements below often point to a need for action on the speaker’s part.

Statement 1: I thought he or she would change after Read more of this post

Marital Intimacy: Candy, Songs, Candlelight and Sex

I read a great line on the dust cover of a book.  Intimacy is not technique.

It isn’t exactly a profound statement.  Then again, many of the important truths in our lives don’t sound particularly deep when we say them.  For instance, all that glitters is not goldis an old adage.  No reasonable person will argue with its accuracy and no-one would swoon at the hearing of it.  It is a basic truth.  Things that look good to us aren’t automatically good for us…or of inherent value.  However, knowing this truth, many of us buy cars, choose mates and clothes that look good but are not what we need.

So back to intimacy is not technique.  I shake my head that even, as women, many of us often Read more of this post

Don’t Knock Unless The House Is On Fire!

Young black couple 458XSmallKeeping the ‘love’ alive or ‘finding time for romance’ are the challenges of many-a-couple who are nurturing young children and have hectic lives.  While the soccer practice, play-date, family-time regiment seems noble and natural in the course of family, there is an insidious and gradual diminution of the priority of the relationship between mom and dad.  In other words, mom and dad gradually forget about being Read more of this post

Free e-Booklet: Christian Sex Ethics

Download our free electronic booklet, Christian Sex Ethics, from The Pure Bed Married Couples Sex Series. This is a gift from us to you to start this grand new year.

Christian Sex Ethics

Christian Sex Ethics

Read more of this post

Marriage and Manhood: Struggling with Listening

Husbands, how often, when our wives are sharing their heart, thoughts or challenges with us, do we assume the role of problem solver? How automatic is it for us to want to share our ideas of what should or should have been done or said?  Is their another role we might play?

While sharing such thoughts may be appropriate at times, there are a fair number of times when she just wants to be heard and supported through empathy. We may be naturally inclined to be rescuers, problem solvers…fixers.  We hear our spouse in distress or perplexed and view it as an opportunity to shed light and resolve.  In so doing, we may forgo an opportunity to play another key role in any relationship…that of a listener.

I know I struggle with this. In most every other area of my life, I am asked to solve problems and make decisions. It is unnatural for me to listen to people’s challenges and not immediately start to conceive of ways to address them.  It is sometimes lost on me that simple empathy and expressions of compassion are all that are required of me.  In the movie Superman Returns, the hero’s father (Jor-EL) teaches him that he must use his powers to save the world from things they cannot themselves manage…leave the rest to the world.

Our wives do not necessarily want to replace their wisdom with our own.  At times, they are simply looking to share their hearts with us and know that we support them in their own journey for answers and resolution.  It may be appropriate to ask whether they’d like our advice or are just looking for a sounding board or shoulder on which to lean.  As we struggle to learn how and when to be listeners, let’s remember the wisdom given to the son of Jor-EL.

Married?  Visit us at ThePureBed.com, your married couples intimacy store.

The Tongue: The Gap Between Exercise and Ecstasy

The tongue is a masterful lover’s greatest tool…well, perhaps their next greatest tool.   Read more of this post

She’s Initiating Sex? Oh my!

How do we initiate sex without just saying ‘Are we going to do it or what?”  <sigh> Read more of this post

Tips for Time Challenged Lovers

First comes love…then comes marriage…then comes the baby(ies) in the baby carriage(s).  And shortly afterward, the robust romantic life breaks down into a forced 10 minute interlude 2.1 times per week for the next couple of decades.  Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!   Time’s just not on our side. Read more of this post

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