3 Powerful Questions Spouses Ask Each Other

Inattention and disaffection are crippling to a marriage.  Becoming “one flesh” is complicated by the exponential growth of responsibility over the years of our marriages.  Before long, the urgent crowds out the important and our marriage relationship takes backseat to marriage business.

What follows are three questions that may Read more of this post

10 Ways to Revolutionize Your Marriage This Year

You know what a resolution for the new year is?  It is an acknowledgement for a need to change.  And since it comes in the form of a resolution, it is also a tacit admission that the change may be difficult.

Are you resolved to see improvements in your marriage?  Here are 10 areas of focus to make this a Read more of this post

Transparency In The Moment

So you’re planting little kisses on hubby’s torso and you’ve just just begun to kiss his belly…when he tries to push your Read more of this post

The Other Sex Talk

Talk to me!Situation: You’d love to tell your husband or wife the way you feel about your sex life or about that thing they do during lovemaking that drives you nuts, but their too sensitive to take your feedback constructively. If you are honest with them, they are going to get defensive. It’s happened before.Question: So, what do you do? Tell them the truth and have them blow up or shut down? Or, keep it in and suffer silently?

Answer: Read more of this post

You Have Not Because You Ask Not

We, adults, know that the most direct way to get what you want is to ask for it.  Of course, the way you ask matters.  This truth applies to sex also you know? Read more of this post

Marriage and Manhood: Struggling with Listening

Husbands, how often, when our wives are sharing their heart, thoughts or challenges with us, do we assume the role of problem solver? How automatic is it for us to want to share our ideas of what should or should have been done or said?  Is their another role we might play?

While sharing such thoughts may be appropriate at times, there are a fair number of times when she just wants to be heard and supported through empathy. We may be naturally inclined to be rescuers, problem solvers…fixers.  We hear our spouse in distress or perplexed and view it as an opportunity to shed light and resolve.  In so doing, we may forgo an opportunity to play another key role in any relationship…that of a listener.

I know I struggle with this. In most every other area of my life, I am asked to solve problems and make decisions. It is unnatural for me to listen to people’s challenges and not immediately start to conceive of ways to address them.  It is sometimes lost on me that simple empathy and expressions of compassion are all that are required of me.  In the movie Superman Returns, the hero’s father (Jor-EL) teaches him that he must use his powers to save the world from things they cannot themselves manage…leave the rest to the world.

Our wives do not necessarily want to replace their wisdom with our own.  At times, they are simply looking to share their hearts with us and know that we support them in their own journey for answers and resolution.  It may be appropriate to ask whether they’d like our advice or are just looking for a sounding board or shoulder on which to lean.  As we struggle to learn how and when to be listeners, let’s remember the wisdom given to the son of Jor-EL.

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Married Sex: Getting To Know You

How much do you think you know about your husband or wife as a lover? Read more of this post

A Sweaty Mound of Jiggling Man Meat!

Prostrate beneath a sweaty mound of jiggling man meat, you feel the weight of passionless sex…literally.  [You thinking] Lord, please let him finish…fast! This is you, momma, once again being drilled by your husband.  And in that moment he either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that you are so removed from the situation you’d might as well be his pillow…or his hand! Read more of this post

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